Cursed to keep repeating bad memories and scenes in my mind. While it's a good opportunity to understand what happened and why, the cycles usually don't end... Most of the time I'd probably get over things faster and put them behind me if I could dissect the thing together with someone, but opportunities with friends and family where I can talk are far and few. For various reasons, but a size-able proportion due to my inabilities: my inability to assess who can be trusted, my inability to put my trust in people, my inability to tell when's a good time to be initiating conversation for advise/help, my inability to express myself and the situation "accurately".
So far thinking it through by myself has been my main avenue, and it seems like deja vu to be going back to writing. But in a way I do hope I'll be able to overcome these inabilities somehow, because those whom can rely on others (both friends and family) all seem to be happier. And more sane.